Life Crunch

Fictions and Creations

The Vanguard Coalition

By Alvin Aragon - October 07, 2021

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Linkers

By Alvin Aragon - September 10, 2021

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Fictions and Creations

The Kisperverse

By Alvin Aragon - August 27, 2021

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Fictions and Creations

Ang Makulit na Pagtatagpo ni Daisy Anne Martinez at ng Taong Grasang may Pitong Lamborghini (Rough Draft)

By Alvin Aragon - August 08, 2021

Naganap ang lahat ng dahil sa pagbahing ng isang di kilalang lalake mga dalawampu’t dalawang taon na ang nakakaraan…

Nagsimula ito mula sa isang… Achooooooooooooooooo

Walang nakakaalam na ang kahindik-hindik na pangyayaring ito ay ang syang magpapalipad sa isang kaawa–awang 1 cm radius na alikabok patungo sa kalangitan sa loob ng mahabang panahon.

Lumipad ito at naglakbay sa mga bundok…

dagat…

mga bukirin…

sa matataas na gusali….

at makalipas nga ng dalawampu’t dalawang taon ay dumapo ito sa ilong ng isang taong nagngangalang DAISY ANNE MARTINEZ…

Isang kamangha–manghang pangyayari!!

Si Daisy Anne Martinez

Si Daisy Anne Martinez ay isang ordinaryong empleyado sa isang ahensya ng gobyerno. Siya ngayon ay nasa tapat ng gusali ng BNP upang tuparin ang isang mahalagang misyon na sana ay dapat noon pa nya naisakatuparan.

Tulad ng karamihan, mahilig si Daisy manood ng mga pelikula. Gustong gusto nyang panoorin ang mga pelikula ni Jackie Chan, Jet Lee, at iba pang mga katulad na artista. Kung di nyo kasi natatanong ay isang fan ng martial arts si Daisy. Madalas nga syang makita sa dojo na nagsasanay ng aikido at kung-fu. Bukod dito ay mahilig din syang mag-gym na kung saan ay matatagpuan syang gumagawa ng 100 pushups sa isang araw, nagbubuhat ng 100 lbs na barbel at nagda-duck walk habang may hawak na 50 lbs na barbel sa magkabilang kamay. Hilig nya ring magsuot ng stripes na polo shirt, magpagupit ng semi-kalbo tuwing NBA finals at magbasketball tuwing sabado kasama ang mga barkada nyang lalaki.

Ang sino mang makakarininig ng mga ito ay marahil huhusgahan na si Daisy bilang isang tomboy. Yan ay isang malaking pagkakamali! Sapagkat si Daisy Anne Martinez ay isang lalaki. Oo! Isang certified at biological na lalaki. Di nga nya lang alam kung bakit sa lahat ng mga posibleng ipangalan sa kanya ng kanyang mga magulang, ay pangalan pa ng isang babae ang napili para sa kanya.

Di mo naman din masisisi ang mga magulang ni Daisy kung makikila mo lang sila ng mabuti. Ang mga magulang ni Daisy ay yung mga tinatawag na 'disruptor of change'. O mga taong gumagawa ng di pangkaraniwang bagay sa isang field na syang nagpapabago sa mga nakagawian nang paniniwala at pamamaraan nito. Ang tatay ni Daisy ay isang dalubhasang siyentipiko na nagdebunk sa Theory of Relativity ni Einstein. Habang ang ina naman nya ay isang artist na kinikilala bilang founder ng makabagong art na kung tawagin ay Non-Abstract Abstract Arts. Kaya nga hanggang sa pang-araw-araw na buhay nila ay dinadala nila ang kanilang pagiging distruptor. Pabaliktad sila magbasa ng mga aklat, pabaliktad silang magsalita, at minsan pa nga ay nailagay sila sa Guinness Book of Record sa kanilang paglalakad ng pabaliktad sa loob ng isang buwan. At ang pinaka-huli nga nilang ginawa ay pag-papangalan sa kanilang kaisa-isang anak na lalaki ng Daisy. Oo! Ito na ang huli. Dahil pagkatapos ng kapanganakan ni Daisy ay bigla na lamang silang naglaho na parang bula. Kung may kinalaman ito sa kahindik-hindik na pagbahing ng isang di kilalang lalake mga dalawampung dalawang taon na ang nakakaraan ay wala pang nakaka-alam. Basta’t ang alam natin ay nasa harap ngayon si Daisy ng gusali ng Bureau of Name Protection para tuparin ang isang bagay na matagal na nyang pangarap na mangyari.

Pagsabog! Hahaha!

Sa malayo palang ay makikita mo agad ang malaking usok na nagmamayabang sa gitna ng kalawakan ng syudad. Ang ingay ng mga sirena ng mga bumbero ang magsasabi sa iyo na may hindi magandang nangyari.

Sa isang sulok ng paligid ng nagbabagang gusali na syang sentro ngayon ng atensyon ng mga bumbero, mga biktima, mga usyusero, at mga mystery-enthusiast ay makikita si Daisy na tulalang nakatingin sa malaking usok habang unti-unting humihina ang kanyang pagkaka-kapit sa form–7A ng BNP na syang kailangan na form para sa pagpapapalit ng pangalan.

At ayun nga! Halos lahat ng bahagi ng BNP ay natupok ng apoy. Ayon sa mga eksperto, aabot pa ng limang taon ang rehabilitasyon ng ahensya bago tuluyan itong magsapubliko muli. Pwera na lang kung may isang trillionaire na handang magpondo sa rehabilitasyon. Ang reyalisasyong ito ang lalong nagpahina sa kapit ni Daisy sa kanyang form–7A hanggang sa tuluyan itong liparin sa kalangitan at maging bahagi ng kaguluhan sa paligid.

Nakatulalang napaupo si Daisy sa isang kalapit na bench. Sakto naman na nagpapatugtog ang katabi nyang nakakaisyuso ng kantang “Impossible Dream”. Ito ang tuluyang nag-set ng ambiance sa paligid. Kasabay pa ng pagihip ng malungkot na hangin at paglipad ng mga upos ng nasusunog na gusali, ay sumariwa kay Daisy ang pitong taon nyang pagpupunyagi para lang mapapalitan ang kanyang pangalan. Kasabay nito’y tinanong nya sa kanyang sarili: “Bakit nga ba gigil na gigil ako na palitan ang aking pangalan?”

to be continued

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Fictions and Creations

The Kisper Bond

By Alvin Aragon - August 04, 2021

The Kisper Bond

Kisper Bond is a mysterious mind and body entanglement between two creatures. Being entangled by a Kisper Bond means the entangled creatures can share their thoughts telepathically and can manifest shared physical attributes as well. This entanglement normally can be seen between a mythical beast and a human.

This phenomenon was first hypothesized by Djourn Kisper, 10 years before an actual account of human-to-mythical-beast Kisper Bond has been recorded. Djourn catapults to a science rock star after this first evidence.

Over the years of study and experience on Kisper Bond, the following seems the governing rule:

One and Done.
Once manifested, the bond cannot be removed or transferred over the lifetimes of the creatures.
Mind Connection.
Both creatures can share their thoughts and feelings telepathically. And it works wherever the two creatures may be. The quality of connection though is affected by distance.
Attributes Sharing.
During the initial manifestation of the bond, some physical attributes and abilities are shared between the creatures at different rates. So for example a human connecting with a mythical beast with horns and wings may grow horns and wings as well. The mythical beast on the other hand may become an intelligent creature. Another example is if a human connects with an Empire Winged Lion, he/she may gain the ability "Ruler's Order" in full or portion of its original capabilities.

There are also cases where personalities, likes, and dislikes are being shared between the creatures (also at different rates).

Creatures tough don't have control over what attributes could be shared and at what rates. Most of the time, the configuration that happens on the initial manifestation, stays a lifetime. There are few exceptions though.
New Ability.
New abilities often manifest during the lifetime of the bond. These new abilities though can only work if both creatures are at a certain range to each other.

Kisper Bond is one of nature's mysteries. Though there are a lot of things we know about it, no one knows the answer to the more important questions. Like, how and why Kisper Bond happens, does this happen randomly? Or are there rules on who can bond with whom?

Recently though, chatters over the internet suggest that underground research has succeeded in creating artificial Kisper Bonds. And a device for it is already circulating the underground market. This is a horror for the government and for those who deny the ways of underground research. But a source of hope for those who seek the truth on Kisper Bond. The world is never grayer than how humanity stands now on Kisper Bond.

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Fictions and Creations

Mythical Beast File 0002: Empire Winged Lion

By Alvin Aragon - July 15, 2021

EMPIRE WINGED LION

All mythical beasts have instincts rooted in a particular type of object. You can understand a lot about their behavior and abilities by just figuring out the root of their instincts. Scholars call this "the center". For example, all of masma ogre's actions can always be traced to their hunger for memories. So masma ogre's center is memory.

Empire winged lion's center on the other hand is domination. They are born conquerors and natural leaders. A typical empire winged lion rules over an island with thousands of animals and other mythical beasts. They have an ability called: "Ruler's Order" that allows them to tame creatures around their vicinity. From the moment they are born, their journey toward building an empire has already begun.

Empire winged lions are born from a huge egg. Typically, there are around 4 to 6 empire winged lion chicks inside an egg. These eggs are carried by adult empire winged lions to remote islands and leave them there to hatch. Being genderless creatures though, it's a mystery how these eggs came to be.

Each of these chicks has the strength of 10 prime bears at day one. Before hatching, the egg activates Ruler's Order three times a day. So during the hatch, these chicks have already amassed followers. They will then fight to the death for the ownership of these followers, for 3 straight weeks. During the battle, an average of 3 Ruler's Orders is activated every 5 hours. So after the battle, the winner is 50 times stronger and already has a mini-empire for itself. Their journey for domination will continue from then on.

Though they love to dominate over creatures, empire winged lion knows their limitation. They will not conquer lands that they can't maintain ruling. Upon reaching their limitation, they will settle down with their empire until someone came to challenge their ruling.

Tasayans, a group of tribes, took advantage of this limitation and choose to live at the border of an empire winged lion's territory. There are numerous benefits. Dangerous creatures typically avoid getting near to at least 1 mile from the border of empire winged lion's territory. The territorial challenge is also very rare. Plus, most empire winged lion's territory is vastly rich in natural resources. That's why most people considered them to be one of the majestic creatures in existence. In their ruling, a barren land can turn into a rich land in 3 years. And since humans are not affected by Rulers Order, people love this mythical beast.

Things change though when that fateful Wednesday, an empire winged lion dropped its egg to the crowded city of Hima. To make things worst, there was only a minute left then before the hatch. This event is later known as the Hima Empire Bombing.

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Fictions and Creations

Mythical Beast File 0001: Masma Ogre

By Alvin Aragon - July 09, 2021

MASMA OGRE

Masma ogres are higher dimensional mythical beasts known to feed on memories of living things. There are only a few recorded sightings of these beasts. But there are a lot of recorded testimony of people fallen victim to their hunger. This is because masma ogres usually attack their victims from afar, despite of their huge appearance.

Masma ogres' attack comprised of two stages. The first is scanning. From their location, they scan memories of living things and choose which of these memories they want to target. Scholars approximate that masma ogres can scan the memories of any living things 100 km from their location.

The second stage is stimulation. For masma ogres to grab their target memory, they must first bring them from the subconscious mind to consciousness. This means that the victim must first remember their target memory. To do this, masma ogres use their ability to cast hallucinations. By casting proper hallucinations on victims, masma ogres can stimulate the victim's mind to trigger their target memory.

Their ability to cast hallucinations seems overpowered at first glance. But this ability comes with three restrictions. The first is that their casting range is just around 500 meters. The second is that casted hallucination lasts only for 3 seconds. And lastly, hallucinations need to be triggered. These triggers can be anything around the vicinity of the victim: sound, visuals, taste, touch. For example: if they want to cast a hallucination involving rabbits, clouds forming rabbit-like silhouettes would be good triggers.

There are several indications that you have entered the range of a masma ogre. The first is that you will find an odd collection of things nearby. These things are actually considered as poops of masma ogres. After eating memories for a while, masma ogres release physical copies of some of the things in the memories they have eaten. They also use these copies as triggers for casting hallucinations. The second is that you will have a hard time speaking palindromic words while inside the masma ogre's range. So usually, travelers continuously mutter words like radar, kayak, and pop in places known to have sightings of masma ogres.

Lastly, masma ogres are higher dimensional creatures. So for them to have better control of moving in the 3D world, they cast some parts of their body to 3D objects like rocks, woods, and metal. So their physical appearance varies. The only common feature is the blue flame-like energy emanating from them.

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Binary Card Magic

By Alvin Aragon - November 09, 2019

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Sports

The Hammer Play and the Lakers-Mavericks Game

By Alvin Aragon - November 06, 2019

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Blog Series

FRIENDS Dictionary Project

By Alvin Aragon - November 03, 2019

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Blog Series

13 Words And Phrases You Might Have Missed On Friends (Season 1 Episodes 1-6)

By Alvin Aragon - November 02, 2019

This blog is part of my blog series FRIENDS Dictionary Project, which is an effort to create a dictionary containing all words, phrases, and popular culture references one might have missed while watching Friends. For season 1 episodes 1-6, here are the 13 words and phrases you might have missed:

1. a hump and a hairpiece

In episode 1, Chandler used this phrase to tease Monica about the guy she's dating. Their conversation goes like this:

Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!

Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!

Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

A hairpiece or a toupee is an artificial hair extension mostly used to cover baldness.

So the word hairpiece probably refers to being bald. And since the word hump refers to being a humpback, then "a hump and a hairpiece" would mean "a humpback and bald".

2. Mastodon

Mastodons are four-legged creatures that have been extinct for the last 11,000 years. They are distantly relative to elephants, along with the more popular Mammoths.

The word appears in episode 2 while Ross argues with Marsha about the configuration of a certain mannequin in the museum.

Here's the script:

Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?

Marsha: Well, she has issues.

Ross: Does she.

Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!

Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?

3. ThighMaster

ThighMaster is a fitness product designed specifically for toning the muscles of one’s thigh. It consists of two metal loops joined by a springy hinge.

It works by clipping it between your legs and then squeezing them. It gained popularity in the 90’s but still commercially available today. You can actually still buy one in Lazada:

The word appears in episode 2 when the guys are doing their usual habit of peeping on the ugly naked guy.

Here's the script:

Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!

Monica: What?

Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!

All: Eeaagh!

4. Karmic Debt

Karmic debt refers to the bad deeds you commit in your previous life that needs atonement in your current life. It assumes the concept of Karma, which is a belief based on the following concepts:

1. People reincarnate when they die.
2. People's deeds determine their fate in their next life.

The word appears in episode 3 when Phoebe complains about the extra five hundred dollars in her account. Here's the scene at 1:41:

Here's the script:

Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...

Monica: We're with you. We got it.

(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)

Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.

5. Hasidic Jewelers

Hasidic Jew refers to the members of Hasidic Judaism, a Jewish religious group. Play the word with jewelers and you will have Hasidic Jewelers.

I don't know exactly what's with the play of words. But based on a few references that I've read, It seems Hasidic jews dominate the jewelry business in a certain part of the US. My guess is the Diamond District in Midtown Manhattan, New York. Since the setting of Friends is in New York, somewhere near Central Park.

The word appears in episode 3 when the gang tells their story about playing softball with Alan (Monica's dating partner).

Here's the script:

Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hasidic jewelers a thing or two about softball.

5. Filter-tipped

Filter-tip is a part of a cigarette that traps some dangerous substances while smoking. Though it filters the smoke, it doesn’t make cigarettes less unhealthy.

The word appears in episode 3 when Joey used the phrase “filter-tipped buddy” to refer to his cigarette. Here's the scene at 0:26.

Here's the script:

Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?

(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)

Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!

6. FICA

FICA stands for Federal Insurance Contributions Act. It is a mandatory payroll deduction (US federal payroll tax) that funds programs for retirees, disabled, and children in the US.

The word appears in episode 4 when Rachel is wondering why FICA is getting the most of her salary. Here's the scene at 0:34.

Here's the script:

Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.

Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.

Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.

Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.

7. Uberweiss

Uberweiss is a fictional detergent brand. It's German for "super white". The word appears in episode 5 when Ross and Rachel are doing their laundry. I'm not sure if this is a pun of the dairy company Oberweis (just a theory 😂).

Here's the scene at 0:44.

Here's the script:

(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)

Rachel: What's that?

Ross: Uberweiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough.

8. Belch the alphabet

The phrase appears in episode 5 when Joey is convincing Monica to go on a double date with him. Monica used this phrase to refer to Joey’s cousin being able to do alphabet sounds by just burping. A way of Joey's cousin to show off to Monica.

Here's the scene at 2:16.

Here's the script:

Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.

Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

9-10. cocktails in Appalachia, rambunctious

Appalachia is a cultural region in the US. And people living there, the Appalachian, faces a number of stereotypes throughout their history. One of these is the stereotype of them being poor.

The phrase "cocktails in Appalachia" is based on that stereotype. The phrase loosely means "I can't believe it's happening." Cause based on the stereotype, Appalachian can't afford luxury drinks like cocktails.

Rambunctious, on the other hand, is an adjective referring to uncontrollable activeness or exuberance.

Both of these appear in episode 5 when Monica found out that their supposedly double date is actually Joey’s plan to break up his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend.

Here's the scene at 3:39.

Here's the script for "cocktails in Appalachia":

(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)

Monica: Oh my god.

Joey: What?

Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.

Here's the script for rambunctious:

Joey: Come on, they're close.

Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.

Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.

11-12-13. Kook, Madcap / Ottoman

Kook and madcap are synonymous adjectives that describe one’s recklessness, craziness, or foolishness. The word appears in episode 6 where Monica is trying to defend her obsession for organizing stuff.

Ottoman, on the other hand, is a piece of furniture commonly used for resting one’s feet. Also known as a footstool. The word appears in episode 6 where Monica dislikes Rachel moving the ottoman while cleaning the apartment.

Here's the scene (ottoman at 0:30, kook and madcap at 1:33).

Here's the script for kook and madcap:

Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook.

Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.

Monica: Why not?

Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead, you wait until they send you a notice.

Monica: I could do that.

Here's the script for ottoman:

All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!

Monica: ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.

All: Uh-oh...

Monica: How-how did that happen?

References:

https://fangj.github.io/friends/

https://www.wikipedia.org/

https://forum.english.best/t/meaning-of-hasidic-jewelers/7014/2

Photo:

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/friends-inside-netflix-warnermedias-new-80m-streaming-deal-1166238

http://www.lifedaily.com/story/50-facts-about-the-hit-show-friends-you-never-knew-about/

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The Vanguard Coalition

Linkers

The Kisperverse

Ang Makulit na Pagtatagpo ni Daisy Anne Martinez at ng Taong Grasang may Pitong Lamborghini (Rough Draft)

Pagsabog! Hahaha!

The Kisper Bond

Mythical Beast File 0002: Empire Winged Lion

Mythical Beast File 0001: Masma Ogre

MASMA OGRE

Binary Card Magic

The Hammer Play and the Lakers-Mavericks Game

FRIENDS Dictionary Project

13 Words And Phrases You Might Have Missed On Friends (Season 1 Episodes 1-6)

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